My husband, Manuel, and I would go to Maggiano's every Friday night for date night!  We would sit in the bar area tucked away in a sweet step up round booth.  We talked, ate wonderful food and we had our special waitresses with whom we were quite loyal to.  It was romantic and peaceful.
We had been married for an amazing 30 years and had three incredible children when one dark and damp morning, my Manuel was found to be one of the eleven declared dead in the Glendale Metrolink derailment on January 26, 2005.   Our lives were shaken to the core.  My son made most of the funeral preparations, which was not an easy task considering that it had become such a public matter.  He contacted the people at Maggiano's to see if he could host the reception after the funeral at their banquet hall.  Everybody went out of their way to accommodate him, offering special menus and some discounts. The one thing that I'll never forget is that it was on a Friday night.  It was our last 'Date Night' with all of our family and his multitude of dear, dear friends.
Thank you Maggiano's for the many years that we spent our Friday nights there, and making our last one so perfect!

Alex' Birthday

Saturday July 6th was my precious Alex' Birthday!  He would have been 35 years old.  I celebrated by going to see a very old and dear friend who happens to also be Alex' Godfather, Arnold!  He turned sixty on that very same day.  I had a wonderful time!  I do miss the julys in the past when the fourth of july meant the beginning of days of festivities!  The 4th was fireworks, picnics and fun, of course.  The 5th was a romantic dinner with red flowers from my sweet Manuel.  The 6th was the Birthday fun for Alex with a party, cake and whatever food he requested from G-Ma!
Sweet Alex, I loved being you MOM!

It would have been 38 years today

Happy Anniversary to my beautiful Manuel!  Life does go on, that's true.  But the memory of your face, your tender touch and the sound of your laughter are never far from me.  They float in and out of my mind like a never ending ribbon to encourage me, strengthen me, and keep me on my path.  Thank you Man for our thirty years together.  I would not be the person I am today without you in my life!
I love you.  You're forever wife, Patty.

Manuel would have hated this day!  Today he would have been 60 years old.  Yes.  I said 60!  He loved and lived life with such a passion, filling the moments peeking around every corner for another great adventure.  He always felt as if the years were unfolding much too fast, so he raced to try to stay ahead of his enemy, time.
There was another side.  A side that treasured a celebration!  Nothing could please him more than to be surrounded by his family, I mean all of  his family, and his precious lifetime friends!  He would find a moment to catch up with each aunt, uncle, cousin or friend to see what is happening in their lives.  There would be so much laughter and love around us.  And, throughout the night there would be hugs, many hugs.  Not a small pat on the back hug, but a huge, tight, genuine hug that said, "I love you and thank God you are in my life!"  I think that is what I am missing most about my sweet, sweet Manuel today!  Happy Sixtieth Birthday, Honey!

I still feel as if I could reach out and touch him!  Even though it has been eight years ago today, Manuel remains by my side always.  He is here for all of us.  My thirty years with Manuel taught me how to love, what 'family' means, to smile and live life with excitement, and oh, so much more!  But these last eight years have been teaching me that I am a survivor, I have a lot to offer this world, and that I am not done!  The broken shards of glass have been picked up and replaced to make a lovely window to gaze at my future with.  The ripped and torn tapestry has been painstakingly mended into a comforting mantle of love and protection to step into my new life.  I know that I will never be alone!

Happy Heavenly Birthday Manuel!  You would be 59 today.  I remember all the fun birthdays that we celebrated for you.  All of your sweet wonderful friends making them days to treasure!  You were always so fun and excited about life.  As the sun would come up in the morning a smile would brighten your face.  So many possibilities for the next 24 hours.  I miss that.  I feel you all around me, and know that you are guiding me as I move through each day.  My smile has returned, my hope has returned, and my new life has begun all because you have stayed by my side.  I love you with every part of me and keep you close at all times.  Give Alex a big hug and kiss for me.  I love you, Your Forever Wife, Patty!

It Has Been Seven Years!

My Sweet, Sweet Manuel,

Each morning I awaken to the beautiful sight of the sun shining through the stained glass piece in my room of you and me two weeks before our wedding. It brings me comfort and a smile to my face. I can still smell the essence of you, feel the tender touch of your soft hands, and hear the sweet and funny words in my ear. It is not at all what I imagined it would be like at this point of the journey. The beautiful spirit of 'My Manuel' lives on for me. You encourage me, light my way in the dark, and remain by my side.

These past seven years I have been relearning how to walk, talk, and see in a world without you. In the genesis of this unwanted journey, I felt as though our beautiful, intricate tapestry of our lives that we had lovingly sewn over thirty years, one fine stitch at a time, had thoroughly unraveled leaving me cold and alone. Today I see that that the fragments of our story remain intact. Tapestries are made with two threads, the weft and the waft. It is made sturdy enough to endure any manner of tragedy it is presented with. The miracle is that the fabric does not deteriorate or fall apart at the seams. No. It goes through a process of metamorphoses. not unlike the butterfly, our masterpiece is hidden in a cocoon for a time to merge the past with the present. We are all still a family, the five of us. That will never change. What is so clear to me today is that the bond that fuses me to Max and Crystal has been fortified, I see a future for us, we have new goals and aspirations. Thank you for choosing "us".

Give Alex a big bear hug from me. I love you. Your Forever Wife