Six Years Ago Today

It was January 26th, like today, it was a Wednesday, like today, we talked and finished getting ready to go off to work. I would be leaving on my long drive to UC Irvine, and he would be going to the Metrolink lot in Chatsworth. Manuel left an hour early on Wednesdays in order to be able to leave work early to get to his class on time. It was his last day of this class and he had finished his assignment. His eyes looked tired that morning and he was moving slower than on a normal day. I left before he did. That never happened! It was my habit to pray while touching my beautiful Hawaiian Angel dangling from my rear-view mirror. This day was no different. "Not today. Not today, God! Don't let this happen today!" And, there was the angel wing in my hand. I had had a feeling for a while that something was going to happen that would change our lives forever. I arrived at work at six a.m., it was dark with some sprinkles, and I started my usual clinical day. Then we all know the tragic story. He was killed at six a.m. on the Glendale Metrolink tracks. The most horrible day of my life and the lives of my family. I felt as if I had been picked up from earth, whirled around to the heavens, and landed on some strange and awful planet. Yes, it sounds a lot like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. But, for me there was not a glorious happy ending. This was forever. I continue to love Manuel with all my heart and I miss him more than I could ever put into words. What has happened to my life since that day is nothing if not a miracle. I am a new person with new goals, new aspirations and my eyes see a brand new world. Manuel has been by my side, helping me find my way to where I am going. He will never leave me! I love you Manuel and miss you, your forever wife, Patty

1/11/11

Three years ago today I lost my beautiful son Alex! He would love that this day is all 1's. He would have thought that it would be a perfect day. He made the corners of my mouth turn up uncontrollably. He made my heart sing. Every moment of his life was so full. I miss so much about him, but I am finally remembering his life fondly and with happiness for us both. Alex loved me and was demonstrative with his affection. I loved him and let him know everyday. My sweet husband Manuel taught me the importance of that. Thank God he was in my life for so long and was my children's father. Alex had many of Manuel's traits. He would give to anyone standing on a corner, or outside his apartment building. Perhaps not money, but a sandwich or a blanket. He gave a sheep he named Lucy to a Chinese family while he was visiting there with his Dad. Who else would do that? That family of a widow and three children were able to eat for four months after that. For a guy who lived daily in pain and believed that everyone else was too, he certainly didn't let that stop him. I know that his life touched so many, especially me. He taught me to live everyday like there is no tomorrow, and to count all my blessings even in the darkest times! I love you Alex. You truly are the BEST!